suspucious:

i hate it when people shit on others’ excitement. like “hey! i got a new computer!” “that’s nice, but mine’s better” or “hey! i finally killed that guy that’s been bugging me for weeks!” “what the fuck i’m calling the police” unbelievable.

asianfetus:

tru friends ignore each other’s acne

unbeliefs:

me: i just did 5 squats why am i still fat

oldrockstars:

dont u hate it when u have a romantic dream about someone who u never thought about in a romantic way and then u wake up and have some weird crush on them like wtf subconscious why u gotta do this to me

snorlaxatives:

why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes

sidnugget:

when did i get this fat